Thursday, May 28, 2009

Stalked by the Census Bureau

I was debating what to write today. In fact, I was even contemplating not writing when the phone rang.

Understand that I do not like phones. I don't own a cell phone, and I have been known to turn the ringer off for weeks on end. It's not that I dislike phones in general. It's the people that call. I specifically put myself on the Do Not Call list, which is a joke, because every time my phone rings it's someone trying to sell me something, donate to something, or just calling to annoy me.

Today it's the US Census Bureau. In case you did not know because you were lucky enough to not be chosen in some anonymous lottery you didn't know you had entered, there are at least 52 different Census surveys currently being conducted. We seem to have been picked for 48 of them. Oh, and this being the 21st century and all, they now send people to take GPS coordinates of your property.

This is where my tirade begins. For the last month and a half, I have been hounded my the Census people. I tell you I am being harassed by the US government and/or their representatives.

It started with the GPS person which, seriously, these people should be required to carry little badges or something. In this day and age, how do I know these people are who they say they are? Then came the like 15 page surveys in the mail.

The mail wasn't that bad. The GPS man wasn't that bad even though I did think my house was being burgarlized cause the night he showed up we lost power and I just knew he was a sophisticated burglar. What made me think the Census Bureau was stalking me, and I was going to have to file for a restraining order, were the nonstop phone calls.

Morning, noon, and night. It's ridiculous. Their favorite line is you are required by law to fill out the survey. I have. TWICE. Perhaps, it's because I don't fill out all the questions. I'm sorry I don't think you, the Census Bureau, need to know what grade my daughter is in or all aspects of her or my life for that matter. Do you really need to know where my people, as the Mr. Man puts it, are from as they are all long since dead and gone?! (Yes, that was a question.) Or how many vehicles I keep in my yard or how far I drive them? The way I see it is if my blog readers don't want to know then you don't really need to know. I mean, c'mon. How am I supposed to know you are who you say you are? I am not a truly trusting person. I pay my taxes (since I was 15) and I'm a citizen and that's all you need to know.

I'm done filling out the survey. Let them keep calling. I'm going to tell them what I told the last person. I've all ready filled it out, and I'm not doing it again. And, I hope, (I really do) they pull that required by law crap on me again. I know just what to say. Bring it on. Call the cops. I'll wait for you in the front yard, but I'll make sure the press knows about it. Does the government not have better things to do, like the economy, Iraq, nuclear weapons in North Korea, getting kickbacks from OPEC, than threatening the people who keep this country going? If it's that big of a freaking deal, then President Obama may come and ask the questions, but I'm NOT telling some nameless, faceless, idiot over the phone just cause they threaten to put me in federal prison.

Census Bureau, perhaps if you made it a good deal shorter and less invasive, people might actually fill out the darn thing.

Oh, there's the phone again. Hmmm. Wonder who it could be. You'll know where I am if I don't post for a while. Until next time. May your FBI file not get any bigger.


DiPaola Momma said...

OMG!!! They are down this way too! They are EBIL no?

Blondie's Journal said...


Do you have caller ID?? I screen all my calls. I know you don't like cell phones but from the day I disconnected our house phone and number was the last time I heard from a telemarketer. No one can get your cell number if you don't give it to them.

Please feel free to rant anytime. I'm a good listener.


The Muse said...

Ok tiger...we need an update! :)